爱 – 未必要拥有 (8)

对不起！我选择了 -- 逃

是K ~ 告诉我：

Never be afraid to fall, get up and move forward!

There will always be someone behind to lend a shoulder if you need to......

我不怕跌到，我会爬起再向前走。可是，可是每当我需要他的肩膀时，他都不在身边。就只有像蜗牛式慢的鼓励电邮 – 因为常驻国外的他，要兼顾的实在太多了，我是可以明白了解的。

还有每一次，K总是都告诉我说，该这样、该那样。 K总是担心着我被欺负、担心着我被欺骗、担心着我这、担心着我那….. 我也明白自己在他心中，并还未做到他所要的坚强，独当一面。 他还是不放心我，他的每一个电邮都是鼓励着我，不开心的时候，就是喜欢打开电邮，重新阅读：

某年某月 10日:
我帮K整理他的行程表，因为在3星期内，他要到香港 = 日本 = 香港 = 杜拜 = 澳洲 = 新加坡 = 香港 = 新加坡，他公司的秘书只是将E-Ticket全给他，让他自己去看，完全没有帮他整理详细。 - 气死他了 （那个时候）

Thanks for the chart, looks really useful, hope you don’t fill the wrong data and send me to “ Holland ” Now is 6.20pm, as discussed, to claim my present, has to be done before 7pm.

Now I name what I want,

** Same as previous, be yourself and achieve the best possible for yourself, though it may sound boring but that is my true request.

**Look ahead and be more independent than before and now have to be more assertive, build your confident level through your work encounter.

**Never be afraid to fall, get up and move forward.

**There will always be someone behind to lend a shoulder if you need to.

**TAKE CARE

某年某月 11日:
关于我和另一个“他” 的问题。

Feel so bad thinking about it, I have no right to make such comment, please delete permanently, I will do so after sending this mail. Don’t call PLEASE, I think you should know me by now, who ever calls I will always answer, TAKE Care

某年某月 11日:
我问K： 会不会买手信给我？

YES OF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!! DA PEN DAN

某年某月 19日:
工作遇到问题，打了通长途电话给K

No worries BB always there for you. Be independent is the key word, I know you can and you have to.
Me too feel so sor…… , busy at the moment, cant talk, talk to you later when free。

某年某月 29日:
Good night BB have a good rest. Now having a beer and a cigar, can puff freely without having to worry about the smoke issue. Don’t get the wrong idea, its just that I can blow into the room freely thats all. NO IMPLICATION PLEASE!!!!

某年某月 29日:
K，u r the BEST.... Rgds, bb

bb，
I tend to agree with you, ha ha

某年某月 29日:
K在国外，他看着我给他的电邮 - 在深夜时分

Bxxxxx hxxl still haven’t sleep，sleep early please，bb I need to get up early tomorrow, can you call me at 6 please

Thanks bb

某年某月 30日:
我生病了

Get a blanket bb don’t get sick because of that you need some warm cover，PLEASE remember you are still in the recovering stage

某年某月 2日:

I know how your thought is at the moment, but you have to, hate to tell you this, get yourself compose and think straight for your future!!!

We are, as much as I hate it myself, living in a realistic society. Thinks have to move on no matter you like it or not!!! I know I am being a bit too heavy telling you all this, but I have to, not for me but is totally for you, I would like to see you getting better and better in every way, sincerely.

Now the heavy stuff is over lets get on with the mushy stuff, as for your thought as mentioned, you must be thinking of someone you miss which result in not thinking in a straight line. But never mine, I sort of like the idea. BB look ahead. Trust me, though I may not be good in direction but I am good in this sort of stuff. You have to believe in someone who does not know the direction, ironic is it. TRUST ME YOU CAN DO IT, ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU.

某年某月 3日:

Please remember BB nothing is presented clearly to you in this society.

某年某月 10日:

BB I can feel that you are a independent sort of person, very intelligent indeed, just try to work out the best, consider this issue on a calm and reasonable manner.

If thing can’t work out as per your plan, move on in an independent manner, TOWARDS your career. Divert your energy towards your up and coming path in your new role which will be firm up after your boss arrival. Be positive always. But remember there is a jungle out there, be very careful on every encounter. Always thought before action.

Any way BB, take care and look ahead and move on, you may stop but the world is still moving, I believe you understand what I am trying to say, that is no matter what happen, be fxxking positive and move on and remember I will always behind you.

某年某月20日:

Yes madam, just finished the report for the project 400+ kb 434kb to be exact.
Good night bb sweet dream to you always

某年某月25日:

Give yourself for a period of three months and see how the situation goes, if the “vices” activities still continue, then quit. But prior to this, YOU MUST HIGHLIGHT TO YOUR COMPANY that if the fellow were to continue with his sort of illegitimate activities and still claim for it, quote a few example, what should your action be.

VERY IMPORTANT < MUST VOICE YOUR CONCERN FIRST TO PROTECT YOURSELF >

I will help you cook up the report to your company when back. Take care

某年某月3日:

Be strong, mind over body. This is a time to test yourself, I know it is hard, but please you can do it , which is what I am always trying to tell you. I know you can do it, trust me. Bear with it until you are fully on your own, then plan ahead, stay cool for now.

Take care

还有很多、很多。。。。收集了5年的电邮；开心的、不开心的都有。。。

这5年多的日子里，K就是这样的在看著陪着我度过在新的日子 – 通过电邮、电话、短讯，没有见面。

我的喜怒哀乐 – K最清楚不过。我的问题、我的决定，K都是100% 的支持！

K曾经是很放心我的一切，可是，现在却是担心着现在的我。

K不止一次对我说过，随时随地我可以去找他！他说过，随时随地他愿意照顾着我！ 可是…… 我还有太多、太多的事情还没有办好！ 还不可以就这样潇洒离开……

那天，K又来电对告诉我说：他要回来，会在新呆上一段日子！
曾经那是我期盼的，可是，不是 ~~ 现在！

因为，我办不到我答应他的事情：在他下一次回来之前，我一定要活的比现在更好！

对不起！我唯一可以做的是 ~~ 逃……

（初版结束在此）

待续.................................

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这样的结束，“新怡の心情”的部落友都觉得这故事还没结束。
就只有 - 写着这故事的“新怡”想着就此结束。

“新怡の心情”的部落友认识新怡就只有3个月的时间（2006年3月开始），可是，还真的有点了解新怡 – 是的，故事其实还没有结束，只不过是“新怡”想停止写下去而已。

现在的“新怡”想写下去了，因为当“新怡”写完，就是等于“新怡”完全放了。